For you only ~

Finally after such long time, we talked again. This time, you are very corperative. I should say you are very different now compared to last 2 years. You are very mature, no crazy talks, no flirt or inappropriate questions. I am thankful you have realised what's the best and you didnt take it for granted. I know how much I wanted to say I still want you. How much I miss the time we were together, those are unforgetable moments. Nevertheless, we are very different now. Feelings may stay the same, but we can't go back to where we were. Let them be the past,start moving on.

So much things to tell you, and this time I am more cautious to what I am saying. I have to be calm, not involving deep emotions, balance our mood during chat, etc. I am grateful to be where I am right now. Although I cant have you all the time, but being there and I know you are there is more than enough. I did wish and keep wishing to be yours only, to be able spend more time with you, to be able be the one who is in your heart. As the matter of facts, those wishes will be only wishes. You have given me so much hope. But this time I'll keep stay strong in where I am.

For the sake of your, for the sake of her, for the sake of people around us, let the time take place. Eventually, if we meant to be together, we will be in future and always be.

To you:

I still love you though you'll not love me back, I still care for you though you may not.

Keep breathing happily is more than enough for me. :)

Need You Now!

How long it has been?It has been a month and today out of sudden you called me on messenger. Tell me, is it my fault to have this feeling? The feeling of guilt loving you. If I ever ask people, they will say Im stupid or it isnt love! Then if it is not love, why you are always on my mind? Why every second of my life you are there? Though we do not talk and build the walls surround us, still the feeling does not change at all.

Then tell me, is it my fault to love you in silence? To have this feeling which I shouldnt have? or is it just me hurting myself? Hey, I would never ever deny that I loved you once. I am never ashamed about it. Do you?

I pray to God, pray that I will ever forget you. I pray to God if there is drug can take this feeling away, I promise not to look back. But you are the shadow of mine. Wherever I go, there you are.
I pray to God the next morning I wake up, you will be gone as the wind.

Anyway, move on is the right thing to do for me. Nevertheless, dreams and goals awaits me.

Ciao ~~

I am more or less a bitch to you!

I guess I will never be able to walk out from this for the rest of my life. Now, I am having you here doesn't please me at all. Indeed, I am trapped in the guilt.

There are many things in life as we want to be. Things like career, money, family, and so on. Apart of that, I am too different from anybody. Love doesn't come to the first place. Why would I bothered?

If you ever have the thought like mine, you better put awareness to yourself. Moreover, you might end up to be nothing.

Him ~
He is a guy who I shouldn't be with. But all things went wrong. He is the most beloved person of my life. After almost two years, I couldn't say "NO" to him. Whether I am such a fool or love is never exist unfortunately. From the very first place, I have been kept telling myself to walk away, leave everything behind, and start the new one.

Yet those promises are never work on me. As long as I am here, in Sydney with him, the feeling still engulfed me with vengeance. So yeah, I have nothing to say but just want to forget everything in life.

Is this a song to sing of life?

Yeah, it has been a month since you left and forgot for something we have for a while. Like I have said before, you are nothing but a cloud appear from the dark sky. A sight of necessity you will and will ever come back to me. This time I don't what is your intention, what do you want and what are we going to be. Somehow, I have a little whisper on my ears and that is about YOU!

Each time you came and like reminiscence to me. Well, no matter how long and you keep coming back, it will not change everything. You need to realise how different we are now compared to at the beginning of us! Don't blame her for this time. We need to give in, do we?

You might not know and true would not to be told. There is time I have to give up everything that we have for our sake. Sweet and bitterness lush our life. Why and why do you have to run from the reality? Do you understand my struggle? Must I have fight for something I will lose? For once I am asking you for a thing. Words can't describe my strain. Even though having you in the end will not wash away my guilt. This is what I need you to understand.

I can't tell you how much I wish for staying with you. I will be and always be your shadow.

When the times gone by ~

As the time passed by, those memories and feelings are here. I don't know what to say, or maybe I
have nothing else to say. Sometimes, I will wonder myself, how and how to move on from this. This sick feeling which has engulfed me for over all the time. Shame on me cause I can't tolerate this anymore. Hey, love is never be perfect and makes you blind. Right now, right here, this moment your shadow is beside me. Remember those promises? We have our own way, our thinking and future to set. Yet, all I could feel is emptiness surprisingly. How could live a life with the terror of your caprice? If I open the chapter to review it again, I wasn't supposed to be put on. I had been given in. To let you realise how love is not about individual. To tell you that the completeness is about understanding each other. However, when it came to the end, it's out of my hand to have your presence. I never take it for granted for what was between us. If someone had given you something and that person had thrown you away, would let the second chance take place?

Sony Ericsson W508a

Six Professional Skincare Tips!



1. Understand the Problem

"Pimples during the teen years are primarily due to the huge surge in hormones during puberty," says New York City–based Marsha Gordon, M.D., a consulting dermatologist to St. Ives. "The hormones increase sebum production, making the cells that line your pores sticky—which in turn clogs them so that oil can't escape." When oil gets backed up, your pore develops a bump. If it's squeezed or becomes too full and the lining cracks, sebum and bacteria seep out into the skin and provoke inflammation. Chicago-based dermatologist Brooke Jackson, M.D., adds, "If you're involved in sports that require gear like helmets or pads, trapped sweat and dirt can trigger breakouts. It's important to wash your face as soon as possible after workouts."

2. Don't Be Lazy

"Establishing a good routine in your teens may prevent problems in your 20s," Jackson says. "Your doctor can prescribe medications, and you may buy products to help, but they don't do any good if you don't use them regularly." The number one mistake girls make in taking care of their skin? "Falling asleep with makeup on!" Gordon answers. "Leaving your cosmetics on overnight can cause breakouts." It's also crucial to give your skin the occasional scrub or peel. "Exfoliation is essential to slough off dead skin cells," she notes. "But be gentle. Start mild and increase frequency once you know what your skin is able to handle."

3. Keep Products Basic

"Skin needs to be able to breathe," says New York City celebrity facialist Tracie Martyn. "Stay away from anything too waxy or greasy when it comes to makeup or facial products." Look for moisturizers with salicylic acid—they hydrate as they unclog pores and gently exfoliate skin. And even if you have oily skin and are prone to breakouts, moisturizing is still a must. "It's a myth that drying out a zit will make it go away," Gordon says. "Overdrying may actually inflame a pimple and slow down recovery."

4. Never Be Picky

To avoid infections and scars, don't take matters into your own hands (regardless of how tempting it may be). "I've had teen clients who have attacked their spots with needles, pens, and tweezers," says Wanda Herrera, a cosmetologist at Cal-A-Vie spa in Vista, California. "They've ended up with scars that can take months, if not years, to heal." If your spot doesn't fade on its own within a few days, see a skin-care professional.

5. Think Big Picture

Healthy skin starts from the inside out: "Eat a diet rich in good fats—found in foods like salmon, avocado, nuts, and olive oil—for a soft, supple, and acne-free face," says Nicholas Perricone, M.D., a Meriden, Connecticut–based dermatologist. "Sugary or starchy foods [like fries or white bread] can exacerbate problems." Also remember to get enough sleep. "Get at least eight hours every night. It's vital to avoid puffy eyes and dark circles and to be vibrant!" he notes.

6. Always Shield Your Skin

"Don't ever leave your house without sunscreen. Use at least SPF 30 to protect against age spots and skin dehydration—not to mention cancer," advises Beverly Hills aesthetician Sonya Dakar. "And if you think being in the sun will make your acne go away, think again. Acne-causing bacteria love the sun and sweat; the sun 'ripens' the breakout and makes it worse."

7. No Smoking Allowed

"Inhaling just one puff of a cigarette generates more than a trillion free radicals in your lungs, which triggers an inflammatory response in all organs, including the epidermis," Perricone says. "Tobacco constricts blood vessels, which reduces blood flow to the skin and results in a gray, lifeless, and unhealthy-looking complexion, as well as leathery skin and wrinkles in the long term."